Dan Savage once observed that “most adult bisexuals, for whatever reason, wind up in opposite-sex relationships.” Whether or not you’re a fan of Savage (or his sometimes dubious takes on bisexuality), the statistics support his assertion: The massive 2013 Pew Research LGBT Survey found 84 percent of self-identified bisexuals in committed relationships have a partner of the opposite sex, while only 9 percent are in same-sex relationships. Because on the surface, the fact that 84 percent of bisexuals eventually wind up in opposite-sex partnerships could appear to support the notion that bisexuality is, as people so often insist, actually either “just a phase” or a stepping-stone on the path to “full-blown gayness.” Knowing that wasn’t true, I decided to investigate.Some of my initial suppositions included internalized homophobia, fear of community and family rejection, and concerns over physical safety.
When I finally told him the truth, answering his oft-asked inquiries about my infidelity with a final, fateful yes, we remained locked in a toxic back-and-forth, shouting insults at each other for a month.There's a pretty long list of famous women who have come out as bisexual: Anna Paquin, Evan Rachel Wood and Lindsey Lohan, to name a few recent examples. Daley’s revelation is considered significant because he is a sportsman at the peak of his abilities, and very few top athletes have outed themselves over the years. Society as a whole views bisexual males and females differently.But with his admirable coming out earlier this week, diver Tom Daley is the most notable famous man. But will the news lead to a mass coming-out among male bisexuals? I’ve sat at many dinner parties where the female guests have openly admitted to same sex attractions or experiences, but a man doing the same is simply not the norm.As a gay man, I have mostly avoided dating bisexual men, but perhaps that's because I fell in love with one once. If that last point seems a stark generalisation, consider this. Perhaps I haven't met enough of them, which would be understandable considering they are often compelled to remain closeted when it comes to their split sexuality.I’ve received e-mails from gay men who fell in love with and married women.